The year I will just be

I'm starting 2015 a little late on this space so a belated happy new year dear blogging friends and readers. I apologise for the recent gaps of silence around here. 2014 was a whirlwind of events and emotions and so I needed sometime to breathe, to collect my thoughts, and to just be. It wasn't the best year and I'm so glad it's over. I really am. This year I've made a pact with myself to slow things down, take every day as it comes, and to just be. I'm done with listening to the voices around me. Instead, I shall listen to that little voice inside of me, the one that tells me to... Just Be.

p.s hoping to get my blog a little more organised. I have some ideas for new photo series but I'd love to hear from you, so if you have any suggestions of what you'd like to see more of please let me know!

A diptych for two

Ten days ago I had my bottom two impacted wisdom teeth removed. It was a pretty painful experience. They ripped my gums open, yanked the teeth out, and stitched me back up. This part of the process I didn't feel a thing, thanks to the anaesthetic I was knocked out and in la-la land. It was the pain after that was awful. After ten whole days of living on mash and soup, yesterday I was finally able to eat my beloved croissants again. It felt good, real good. Aslong as this croissant-lover can eat some croissants, I'm okay. At one point I thought I wouldn't be able to bite or chew any food for a long long time. But like they say time heals everything. Well, maybe not everything. Most things? Some things? Ah.

The calm and the storm

I listen. I wonder. I create. I am.

I am the calm.

I slip. I fall. I break. I drown.

Deeper and deeper.

I am the storm.

I pick up the broken pieces. I fix. I stitch.

Silence.

-

But I rip. 

No fix. No stitches.

Chaos.

A battered soul and a tired heart.

Silence and Chaos.

A constant battle.

And I've become

The calm and the storm.

A diptych for two

Sometimes you have so much to say. You want to express all that your heart feels. And you search for the words. The perfect words. Yet, you can't seem to find them. And in the end all you are left with is silence. And you hope, really hope, that it's understood.

A foggy morning walk

There's something mysteriously magical about foggy mornings. When wandering through fog I feel as though I'm entering a different world. A little escape from the every day world. And when joined by a good friend and my camera it makes a pretty perfect escape. Lately, I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about things I want to do, things I want to achieve, things I want to try, things I want to change but with all this comes fear. Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of disappointment. As humans, we all have dreams and we all have fears but should we let our fears overshadow our dreams? And if we never try, how will we ever know? And I think I rather live with failure than live with regret. At least by trying I will know, I will experience, I will grow, and I will learn. And so I've made a pact with myself to make some positive changes. 
And to just do. 

“My Heart Is Afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.” 
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Hello Autumn Wardrobe

A few pieces I picked up for my Autumn wardrobe. Autumn is by far my favourite season for dressing. Chunky knits, maxi skirts, coats, boots, layering, and more layering. This summer I've pretty much lived in boyfriend jeans and oversized shirts so I'm looking forward to wrapping up in these items.

Rebecca Lily Pro Set III

Avalon III

Today I'm reviewing something special, the Rebecca Lily Pro Set III. Created by the wonderful and talented Rebecca Patience. I first came across Rebecca and her work on Twitter. Since then I've been interacting with Rebecca and I have to say she is one of the most loveliest and kindest people I have come across. Rebecca is a digital and film photographer, residing in Ireland with her husband Johnny Patience (also an amazingly talented film photographer). Rebecca's work is beautiful. Her photos are graceful, calm and mesmerising (just take a look at her blog). And I am always in awe of her and Johnny's work.

A while back Rebecca asked me if I would like to review her upcoming presets, the Rebecca Lily Pro Set III. And of course I said yes! I had recently purchased Lightroom as I was looking for a change in my work flow, so this was the perfect time to try the presets. I have generally always used Photoshop for any editing work, but after using these presets I've realised what a lengthy process that can be, and one that I'm not always satisfied with. I feel these presets are a dream for portrait and wedding photographers (actually any photographer), as they reduce the time spent in post processing significantly! What I most love about these presets is their simplicity and ease of use. With them, less is more.

The presets are designed to be used in Adobe Camera Raw and Lightroom for enthusiast and professional photographers. There are 27 presets with 3 variations, which allow you to choose the strength of the effect. The set also includes 44 tools for further adjustments and finishing touches. The presets are organised in to five categories: Black & White, Bright Color, Deep Color, Mid Color, and Pastel.

Below are a few examples of the different presets found in the Rebecca Lily Pro Set III.

Metro III, Black Jack III & Berlin III

Cleopatra II & Cleopatra III

Audrey I

Dark Mirror III

Apricot III

Avalon II

Although I shoot digital (hoping to venture in to film one day), I have always loved and admired the classic and timeless look of images shot in film. Rebecca's presets evoke and give that beautiful filmic feel to your images with a single click. Not emulating any particular film emulsion but drawn from her experience and love for shooting film. These are a set of unique and beautiful presets created by a talented photographer with a careful eye for colour and detail.

I admire Rebecca's work and I am really grateful for the opportunity to try the Rebecca Lily Pro Set III, which I love and can not recommend enough.

The Rebecca Lily Pro Set III can be found here.

A wander in the Peak District

Last week my feet wandered. Wandered in to the shades of green. The smell of nature encompassed my soul and the sight of nature satisfied my eyes. The water beneath glimmered and danced with natures reflection. And the majestic hills and deep woods unveiled their beauty in the brightness of the water. And as I walked I listened, listened to natures music.

Some current loves

I'm a little obsessed with stationary so when passing by MUJI this week, I picked up a few things.  A tartan diary cover (which can also be used as an iPad mini cover), a notebook, and a wooden ballpoint pen. I think the wooden ballpoint pen is my favourite. Oh, and the candle. As soon as I picked it up I fell in love with its scent. It has this woody, dark, smoky, earthy winter scent. I think it may just be my go to candle this autumn & winter.

Some days

Some days I just want to put on my shoes, pick up my camera, and escape. 
Letting my feet wander in to the unknown. 

Hello May

This stormy golden sunset represents the recent weather perfectly. A mixture of sunshine and rain. Typical England weather for you there. You look outside the window, the sun is shining and it looks like it's going to be a sunny day, and so you decide today is the day you leave the coat at home. Two hours later it starts pouring down. No coat, no umbrella. And you think to yourself how did you let English weather fool you again?

Hope everyone has a lovely month!

Listening to my heart

Since graduating last summer I've been asked the same questions over and over again.

This outlines some of them (and it's quite funny).

"What are  you going to do with your life now?" I'm 22 and I think it is perfectly fine to answer with  'I don't know'. (Please don't look at me confused or disappointed.) I'm still trying to figure out the answer to that myself, but right now I'm taking life as it comes. Each day I'm exploring life and learning something new.

I did a history degree. And no I do not want to go in to a career that has anything to do with history. But nevertheless I chose to study it. I enjoyed it. And I don't regret it.

All I know right now is my heart lies in creating. I'm happiest when photographing, creating and exploring visual art. I want to create. It may not sound right to you. And you're looking at me with the question "what are you going to do with that?!". But for now I will listen to my heart and see where it takes me. And at the time being I'm happy with my part time job (yes a job that has nothing to do with my degree), and spending the rest of my time doing what makes me happy.

Sometimes we spend so much of our time trying to meet everyones expectations that we forget what makes us happy. I've always been surrounded by people with high expectations. And It can be tough trying to meet those expectations. When I was younger I spent too much time trying to please others and not doing what makes me happy. It never made me happier and I felt I was only becoming what others expected me to be. But there comes a point where you have to stop thinking about what 'everyone' else thinks/expects, and focus on what you want. It's difficult to break away and to do what you want to do, but you have to remind yourself that this is your life, and you can't always live your life trying to please others.

And for now I will listen to my heart.

'If you fail, you will be criticised, and if you succeed you will be criticised, you cant make everyone happy. So you may as well do what makes you happy.'

1 year

This post is a little overdue because I was away, but at the start of this month my little blog turned a year old! I still can't believe it's been a year. I remember last year sitting at my desk during exam period, with my desk covered in books and notes. The task of revision was looking ever so daunting and so my mind started to wander . The clock hit midnight, it was the 1st of January, and I thought to myself why not create a blog and begin 2013 with something new? I had been contemplating the idea of creating a blog for quite some time but never did. I guess I was always a little scared to put a part of myself out there. However, it was the beginning of a new year and I thought to myself 'What the heck, go for it!' Most of all I wanted a space where I could express myself, be creative, and share my photography. And after a year of blogging I can happily say creating a blog was one of the best decisions I made in 2013. I have really enjoyed blogging, seeing my blog grow, and interacting with readers and fellow bloggers. My experience in the blogging world has been really positive and I have received some wonderful comments and e-mails from readers. Each time someone leaves a comment or sends me an e-mail telling me that they love my blog or have been inspired by it, It really makes me happy. Just knowing that someone has left my blog feeling inspired is such a wonderful thing. And I would just like to say thank you to each and every person who has left a lovely comment, sent an e-mail or visited my blog. It means a lot and I really appreciate it.

I'm hoping for a wonderful 2014 on Erstwhile felicity.

Bread making

 

I think I may have discovered a new love for bread making. For a while now, I've been wanting to start baking my own bread because let's be honest nothing compares to the taste (and goodness) of freshly baked bread. When I was younger we had a few bakeries around our first home and each time I would walk past one, the wonderful smell of freshly baked bread would enrapture me. There was nothing quite like it. So, these past days have been spent in the kitchen, practicing different doughs and breads, trying different techniques and tricks, and hoping to master (one day) the art of bread making. I'm finding the whole process quite therapeutic. There's something very calming about kneading dough. It's like a big ball of love which you nurture, love, and shape in to something beautiful. It may take some time but the end result is worth it. And I believe my love affair with bread has now reached a whole new level.

Let the bread making adventures commence!

This week

This week

Hello to September! 
I'm excited for the arrival of Autumn. It is one of my most favourite seasons. I cannot wait for the pretty autumn trees and fallen leaves to cover the streets, rustling under my shoes.

I'm looking forward to pulling out my autumn/winter wardrobe. Scarves, wooly socks and oversized jumpers! Oh, and not forgetting ankle boots (I'm slightly obsessed with ankle boots!). I've got my eye on these at the moment.

It also feels a little strange that I won't be going back to University at the end of this month. After spending so many years in education it feels rather weird not going back to lectures, assignments, and exams. I have to admit I'm going to miss it all.

I'm really enjoying the Great British Bake Off. Although, each time I watch it I'm left craving something.
This weeks craving : Trifle!

Have a lovely week.